Being me…

Ok people..this might sound a bit depressing…i think i just got use with the fact that i am who i am now…i am a BIG WOMAN! yep! or fat lady…how ever you put it i am over the average weight or better said i am not the ideal woman!

I might be the ideal woman for some man or for my dear and lovely hubby but when i look in the mirror and sometimes can’t believe it’s me!?!? Is this me? i look like a woman now! I mean i am suppose to ..but i look too much like an old woman. i don’t even think that i look like a 30 years old…but i am…does this sound really bad and ridiculous? The fact that i have a few more extra kg doesn’t help at all! Even 10 or 15 Kg less would make me look more like a young mum and not like an old and fatty mum!

Oh gee now i feel like i live in someone else skin or something?!? i know i am moaning and i should just be happy with who i am and just be happy that i have a beautiful and smart baby girl and a loving husband…but it is so hard to actually love myself most of the time….But i think that i am on the road to accept who i am and to love myself! Yes!You guys will think that i want to convince myself and that i don’t believe what i say hm..No it is not like that!

I am accepting the fact that i am fat and that i will always be fat! I am accepting the fact that i still have spots even though i am in my 30s! Who was the person who said that spots stop when you start your sex life?!?! No it’s not like that! I have an oily skin so that is that! I am accepting the fact that pregnancy gave me varicose veins and that i will probably never be able to get rid of them! And so what i am not the only one!
I am accepting the fact that my legs are full of cellulite and that i will probably never feel good in a bathing suit! I am accepting the fact that my boobs are not in their prime anymore but what can i say?!? I breastfed my daughter for 9 months so it would be expected….

So yes i am accepting the bad but i know that i have good things as well…
So yes! For now i am accepting myself but pretty soon i will love myself again!!!

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