Today I had a hard day! Today more than in any other day I felt like I should be a stay at home mum or at least a mum that is working part time. I miss spending time with my daughter and be there for her when she needs me!
At the moment I am a WORKING MUM and I spend 10 hours a day away from my daughter. I missed her first step, I missed her first real word and she called her key worker name before she call me mummy. Really..she still calls me “nany”…..only when she really needs something from me she calls me “mama” or “mum”.
My daughter was ill today…she has a bit of a cold and fever…really she’s been a bit Ill for the last couple of days…but this morning I found it very difficult to go to work…I just wanted to stay at home with my baby and care for her! But hubby man me up and told me that my boogie is fine and she will be fine as soon as soon as she will be at nursery. Unfortunately she developed fever so at around 2 o’clock I comeback home anyway. I really enjoyed holding my baby while she was asleep and just looking at her. I couldn’t really fall asleep either even though I am really tired as I only slept around 3 hours.
Having a job and a career at the moment doesn’t make me happier. At the moment I NEED to work! There is no other way for us as if I will not work will mean that we will never be able to save any money and achieve our dream…to move back to Romania so we need to sacrifice….
I am torn as I feel like there is no escape on the other side of the door and this makes me feel upset and depressed! I miss my daughter more and more each day!
One thing I can do is make the most of our mornings and evenings and weekends! I love my daughter so much and I will do anything I can to make her a happy child!
The below picture is from the hospital…boogie had only a couple of hours…