Well I now know and I’m not longer denying, I know now that I’m a fat person. So I’m going to share with you what being fat means for me:
– that I cannot wear the clothes I wish I could-skinny jeans,short tops you name it! Whatever I wear I feel uncomfortable wearing!
– I hate my own reflection! I hate looking in the mirror because all I can see is this round thing I don’t know anymore!
– I hate that I can’t wear heals anymore! Weigh too much and can’t walk properly!
– the fact that I have to wear high waisted underwear-you see the bulge that is belly is just hanging!
– I fear to go out for a meal because I always fear that people will judge what I eat;
– people always assume that I’m on a diet if refuse the desert or say I’m not hungry!
– my back hurts most days!
– people assuming that I’m a couch potato just because I’m fat;
What people don’t know is that every day is a struggle for me. That I hate myself because I don’t have the power to be on a diet! Been on several diets – you name me! I tried everything! But every time someone , somewhere ever says something to me that remotely touches my feelings in a hurtful way, I’m back on the binging! When I’m upset I will just eat whatever just ti stop my feelings of hurt! Is like a burning thing inside that will not stop! It’s hard to admit that I’m the person I am. But I am and this time I’m going to try again and change myself!
This time, I guess,it will be the easiest thing I ever had to do to lose weight.
This time I will just use the wonderful Slimpod! It’s a recording on a CD that I will receive by post next week. What will I do with it? Obviously I will just have to listen to it. Supposely it will change the way I think about food and exercise. There are a couple of bloggers out there that actually lost weight with it so it must work. But will it work for me? I don’t know…
I know one thing for sure though…I need to give it a try. Will see…And maybe being FAT will stop! Hahahaha