What being fat means for me…
Well I now know and I’m not longer denying, I know now that I’m a fat person. So I’m going to share with you what being fat means for me:
– that I cannot wear the clothes I wish I could-skinny jeans,short tops you name it! Whatever I wear I feel uncomfortable wearing!
– I hate my own reflection! I hate looking in the mirror because all I can see is this round thing I don’t know anymore!
– I hate that I can’t wear heals anymore! Weigh too much and can’t walk properly!
– the fact that I have to wear high waisted underwear-you see the bulge that is belly is just hanging!
– I fear to go out for a meal because I always fear that people will judge what I eat;
– people always assume that I’m on a diet if refuse the desert or say I’m not hungry!
– my back hurts most days!
– people assuming that I’m a couch potato just because I’m fat;
What people don’t know is that every day is a struggle for me. That I hate myself because I don’t have the power to be on a diet! Been on several diets – you name me! I tried everything! But every time someone , somewhere ever says something to me that remotely touches my feelings in a hurtful way, I’m back on the binging! When I’m upset I will just eat whatever just ti stop my feelings of hurt! Is like a burning thing inside that will not stop! It’s hard to admit that I’m the person I am. But I am and this time I’m going to try again and change myself!
This time, I guess,it will be the easiest thing I ever had to do to lose weight.
This time I will just use the wonderful Slimpod! It’s a recording on a CD that I will receive by post next week. What will I do with it? Obviously I will just have to listen to it. Supposely it will change the way I think about food and exercise. There are a couple of bloggers out there that actually lost weight with it so it must work. But will it work for me? I don’t know…
I know one thing for sure though…I need to give it a try. Will see…And maybe being FAT will stop! Hahahaha
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10 Comments
from_fun_to_mum
good luck, Otilia. It was great to see you last night and I hope you had fun too x
Romanianmum
Thank you so much Hun. It was lovely to see you toox
Adriana
I know the feeling! IT’S A VICIOUS CIRCLE! On top of that, after pregnancy, combined with age, the battle to lose weight for a woman becomes continuous & even more challenging.
My OH bought me a 100% natural supplement to take which I started on Friday. It promises to bring the results I want. I’m v skeptical about this kind of stuff, never done it before. I cut my food portions, I have a healthy diet. Unfortunately, I don’t exercise sufficiently due to my current work load.
I feel guilty being away from my work, my daughter,… so where am I going wrong? Maybe guilt, maybe low self-esteem from a change of life style to becoming a mum or I haven’t yet been able to prioritise my needs?
How do we break THE VICIOUS CIRCLE?
Romanianmum
I don’t know Adriana but I do struggle to break it. I struggle to be happy again…
Here come the girls
Well I think you’re gorgeous!
Hope you can find a weight you are happy with.
Romanianmum
You are sweet Rebecca. Yes I hope too x
Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron
That was brave of you to ‘come out’, as it were. I doubt you’re as fat as you think you are. Most of us have a distorted view of our own reflections. I actually have the opposite problem. I’ve always been too thin, although I eat normally. People feel quite free to comment on it in a way they perhaps wouldn’t to somebody large. And, like you, I feel they are judging me if I don’t have a pudding, assuming I’m anorexic. Even so, I too have to wear high-waisted underwear because the effect of large babies inside a small frame has left me with a droop of loose skin that resembles a Mr Whippy ice cream. So you see, perfection is a myth (but I’ll happily accept some of your excess kilos if you feel like sharing).
Romanianmum
Yes you are right. Perfection doesn’t really exist. Let’s say…we are all perfect in our own way.
Regarding the above I thought I should just put it down on “paper” as we say ad get it out! Now I’m actually relieved I’ve done it! Thank you for your kind comment my dear x
Actually Mummy
Do you know what? I have never thought of you as fat. I just think of you as that lovely friendly girl whose eyes twinkle when she smiles, whose tweets are cute with occasional spelling mistakes, and who is a loyal and supportive blogger!
If you’re not happy with your weight go for it with the Slimpod, but don’t feel bad about yourself in the meantime!
chloewitters
I share many of the feelings you described, and I’m also rubbish at sticking to diets. The slimpods are good for encouraging motivation, good luck!