Tantrum or not?!?

How do you do it?

How do you survive the toddler years?

If things do not happen my daughter way she has a tantrum! And believe me her tantrums are not the easiest ever! Or maybe I think they are that bad because she is my first child? Sometimes she screams that bad that makes my neighbours come out on the communal hallway. I do wonder sometimes if they think she screams because I beat her! No I don’t! I was beaten as a child when I didn’t listen so beaten is the last thing I would do!

Do you give in to make your life easier? I sometimes do that…but how long before it will affect her and I will never be able to change her attitude?
I left the nursery crying today! Again! This morning she just refused to wear her socks as she wanted to wear her beach shoes. I said NO because she can barely walk in them. That’s when the screaming started! I refused to make do and let her do her own way…I said to her that if she can’t wear the beach shoes and she will have to wear others. She didn’t want any so…I said to her that she will go bare feet then. In my defence the nursery is only 200 m from our flat so…She walked and cried in her bare feet and then she asked for shoes. Lesson learned? You will think so…However when we got to the nursery she refused her socks again. Left them in her bag. You should’ve seen the look in her teachers eyes. I know they judge me because she’s been crying and she’s red faced. As I’m writing this I’m still weeping…
Last week she had a tantrum because she couldn’t figure what jacket she wanted to wear…she sat on the wet floor on the pathway refusing to move! What am I suppose to do when that happens?!? What?!? I tried to hold her in my arms but I’m pregnant and she was kicking her feet in belly and slapping my face! What am I suppose to do then?!?
I mean how do you do it?!? Do you give in or educate?Is it my fault?! Working mum and so on? There are days when we get along so well! And I love her so much! And really don’t want to see her cry…but I can’t always give in can I?
I feel like a bad mum… A bad working mum that will be late for work today because her daughter had a tantrum. Then I will have to compensate for being late and stay longer at work which will mean I will get home later too…and this means that I will not get to spend a lot of time with her, my daughter that I love so much!
Please help. Let me know if you have the same problems or maybe you found a way to fix these problems? As you can see I definitely need advice!
Still weeping…as I’m on my way to work on the tube..

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  • Helpful Mum

    My son has just started having tantrums (he’s the same age as your daughter). I don’t really know what to do with them. Sometimes I just join in! They are just testing us, finding out how far they can push us and see at what point we snap. It’s not nice or easy. I hope it gets better. ((hugs))

    • Romanianmum

      I know what you mean by testing but…this morning for example i gave her 1h and half to get dressed and 30 min to walk to nursery which is only 2 minutes away.She still had a tantrum 🙁
      thank you and hugs back

  • Katie Vyktoriah

    Dexter has started having major tantrums lately. He will refuse to walk, throwing himself to the ground and scream, he’ll hit me and slap and kick me. As soon as you tell him no or refuse to do things his way, he goes mental and just starts screaming as if he’s being murdered. And like you, I’m freaking out that people will think I’m hitting him! This morning, he was on his chair in his room and wouldn’t stop trying to stand on it. I told him to stop, and he got angry, and the chair toppled over, and he hit his head on the wall! He has a major bump on his forehead now. That coupled with his screaming makes me terrified that someone will call the police on me!

    This only started about two weeks ago, but it is getting a lot worse, and I spend a lot of time crying, too. Someone said to me that older babies/toddlers can sense when a woman is pregnant, and maybe it is bringing on some form of jealousy? I know Dex has been REALLY clingy lately and wants to be held ALL the time. It’s when I can’t pick him up that he starts throwing a tantrum.

    I don’t think it has to do with you being a working mum, as I am home at all times, and I am having the same issue! 🙁

    I really hope she settles down for you soon, as I have complete sympathy for you!

    • Romanianmum

      With my daughter everything has to be her way. If it’s not then she doesn’t want to do it. No matter what you say to her, how you bribe her or what alternatives you give her she still wants it her way… She’s been spoiled until now so it is quite hard…
      She is starting to learn her lesson though as in the end she asked to put her sock and shoes on..
      My daughter knows that i am pregnant but she is looking forward to it though.
      All is been a bit hard lately on all fronts so…it is really hard to find that power in yourself to be happy and optimistic…

  • MrsB

    My boys HATE to be rushed in the mornings so we put them to bed at 7:30 and they’re up btw. 5:30 and 6. That gives them 1.5 hours to get ready for the day and there are usually no tantrums in the morning. 3-yr old does tantrum in the evenings though and I either just let him scream in his room, or I put him to sit on the stair step. He’s loud but I’ve become immune to it (oskar used to have much worse tantrums). Just remember that they will not remember these tantrums when they’re older and that they happen because of their development and absolutely do not mean that you are a bad mother! (or because you work)

    Hang in there – 4-yr olds hardly ever have tantrums 🙂

    • Romanianmum

      We have the same routine. She goes to bed at 7.30 and wakes up at 6 am. It is great in the evening because hubby and i have the evening for ourselves. But i think she miss us a lot and now that i am pregnant too…
      I feel like i am at the end of my patience. I don’t think i have any left actually…

  • Older Mum

    Sounds like you have had a bad morning. Her tantrums have nothing to do with you as a mum or that you work. They are a part of a child’s development. Little A is going through this stage at the moment …. and there have been many times I have snapped at her. What I do sometimes that I have found helps is to offer her a choice over something, and also leave plenty of time to plan for when we have to go out. Most tantrums seem to happen if I’m rushing her.

    • Romanianmum

      I had a couple of bad mornings and to tell you the truth i am bit off it. I don’t like to start my days like day. It sucks so i will try and concentrate more on how to solve this.
      Patience,bribing or early set off not working so…will have to read up more…

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