Pregnancy diary – 30 weeks

30 weeks pregnant. Oh my dear…I just can’t believe the time has passed so fast.
Now my baby it’s a real baby. I mean just look at this picture I took from Expressive health website:

It is a bit scary thinking that there is a real person inside me growing.
At the same time I am looking forward to meet my new baby more and more.
I really wonder now what kind of baby my baby will be. I hope the baby will be an easy baby but who knows…I mean with my daughter being fussier and fussier by day I could really use a “text book baby”.
But now talking seriously all I want is for my baby to be healthy and arrive safety on this world. I am scared though….
At the moment I don’t know if I will have a c-section or a natural birth.
Part of me wants to be a natural birth because I really want it to be normal and relaxed although the midwife told me that I will have to have an assisted birth because I had an emergency c-section with my daughter. I just want my husband to be able to cut the umbilical cord too…
However as I never had a natural birth as you can understand I am kind of scared…
Part of me wants to have a c-section as I had it before and get it all done. Chances are for things to go well and at least we will know the date and the hour when it will happen. Like mum says…you already have a cut on the belly so it’s not like its going to be that hard…but…what if I want to have another baby later on? What if?
And also the epidural didn’t really work during my c-section so I could feel the doctors rumbling through my belly basically. I was basically feeling the pain even though they pomp drugs into me..lots…Even after the operation…that night was awful! The pain was so bad they had to give me morphine. So seriously I am not…I just don’t want all that to happen again.
I would love to hear from you ladies though. If you experienced both or a natural birth would really love to hear some nice things about the natural birth.
Anyway I am trying and trying not to worry too much as if I worry I’m definitely going to cry. And I already cry too much. I will try to be as positive as possible and take my life one day at the time.

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6 Comments

  • Katie Vyktoriah

    My mom had the same trouble as you with her first. She had to have an emergency Csection, and the epidural just didn’t work. She said she felt everything, and it was the worst pain of her life. She ended up having FIVE C-sections in the end, though all the other ones were planned and they were much less painful and less stressful.

    She was REALLY excited that I let her come and witness Dexter’s birth because she’d never got to see or experience a vaginal birth before. Mine was really easy and not that painful, to be honest. I got to 7 cm dilated before I got scared and had an epidural, but I really wish I hadn’t, as it wasn’t really necessary. I was managing the pain pretty well, but I was just so scared.

    In the end, I had Dex in one push in less than a minute. My mom and Mark were completely in awe of it and love telling everyone how easy it was. And except for being scared, I WAS really surprised how easy it all was. I think keeping calm and recognising that it WILL be painful was key for me.

    Whatever you decide, it will not take away from the fact that you are a mama. 🙂 So don’t worry too much. Lots of love. xx

  • Older Mum

    I had an emergency c-section too – I wanted a natural birth – and I didn’t like the way it left me feeling either – the recovery took months. Big hugs – try not to worry – are you talking to your mental health team yet – you could talk over your worries about the birth with them too. Not long to go now. Baby must be due some time in December? Big Hugs. X.

    • otilia stocks

      I think the feeling that I let myself down and the baby and my family hurt a lot. To tell you the truth it still hurts . I think hat in a way the fact that I want to have a natural birth is to prove myself that I can…now I’m not sure if this is a good a thing…in a way I’m afraid that I am putting too much pressure on myself…
      Thank you for your support hon. I am going to meet the medical team soon too.

  • MsXpat

    I had natural birth with my son. I think from the time contractions started to when he was born it was 12-13 hrs in total. I had only gas and air which meant that I had for voice for a few days and when I did I sounded like a man, lol. I will not lie to you it hurt. I just told myself the more intense the pain the closer I was to seeing my baby and that helped me work with the pain. Truthfully I’m glad I was able to have natural child birth but I always left it open have other painkillers, c-section whatever was necessary and best for me and my baby on the day.

    I think you are right, TRY not to worry to much. Aim towards having natural child birth, if that is what want you want but leave some room for flexibility, and if it doesn’t work out that’s ok. Looks like are days apart from each other, I’m approaching 30 wks! How exciting :0)

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