The “no discipline” technique aftermath
At the beginning of July I was telling you about the “non discipline parenting” as told by Naomi Aldort.
Back then my daughter was going through lots of tantrums! One every day was lucky. We usually had a couple every day first one definitely to happen because she had to go to nursery.
Back then we had all these rules that we were following religiously like the “time out” and the “reward chart” and so on.
As we were desperate we said that we will try everything.
So I start watching more of Naomi’s you tube videos and we tried to apply as much of the SALVE as possible.
You can read or watch more about her method on her website. I should tell you I am not an expert just yet but her method certainly helped. My daughter doesn’t have as many tantrums anymore. I mean if she has one a week it’s a BIG deal. We try to understand life from her point of view too. But believe me that doesn’t mean that we always day YES to her. Not at all. She is still just a 3 and a half years old. She has moments when she gets upset we say no to her and storms out of the living room and just goes to her bedroom for quiet time. Kids will be kids still.
We treat things differently and show her in a kind way when she is wrong but we make sure we show her how much we live her either way.
The best part is when she hugs us and tells us how much she loves us.
We will continue with this “method” when our second baby will come too and hopefully that will mean that our kids will grow up to be confident and loving creatures.
The smile that we put on our daughter face by showing her how much we love her is the best thing in the world, the most precious.
Here is another video from Naomi:
Things I learned the past two months:
– for my daughter showing her love is showing her attention; playing and interacting with my daughter is more important than gifts;
– when I don’t give my daughter enough attention that’s when she starts acting badly – she’s “naughty”;
– my daughter is happy when I just give her love; unconditional love and not only when she’s done something right;
– showing my daughter love and respect makes her happy;
– praising her makes her happy too because she feels appreciated;
– because I listen to her needs she listens to mine/ours;because she is happy she tries to make me happy by being good;
That’s all for now. Remember – you just need to item to your instinct and respond to the love you have inside you for our kids.
Kids are simple creatures and they just love being loved.
I know I’m writing about a technique but really this is not one of those techniques that needs to be followed or otherwise your child will be so and so…
As always I would love to read your opinions so please comment and let me know what you think.
4 Comments
Older Mum
That was really interesting! Some great suggestions – and wise ones! :o). A lot of it is to do with attention …
otilia stocks
Yes i know. Show your child attention and she/he will know how much you love them
MsXpat
Seems like we are in a similar place at the moment. Thanks for popping by an leaving a comment on my post on Child_Led Mothering. It helps to know that you/I are not alone with this phase of our kids’ lives. I will look at the video you proposed but I agree I’ve noticed that some of my son’s tantrums are do with attention, not that he is ignored as I has most of my attention but I have to do things that interest him. He’s much happier when he’s out doors and while he likes books and being read to he lots of energy to burn. Anything that requires him sitting or too long is a hassle for him. I know this but I no longer have the energy to run around and dance etc due to my growing up. I know enlist dear friends to pop round and take him out or entertain a bit at home. He loves when we have visitors. Hubby and I have never really be that out going and social our son is making us become more so. We learn and they teach us new things every day these kids.
I’m pleased that this method is working for you. I’ll let you know how we get on, soon :0) Keep the faith.
otilia stocks
Thank you for stopping by too honey x
Yes the method is working even though sometimes I do find it difficult especially when she has bad days like today.
Although I like the approach and I can see how good my daughter is because of this approach. However when she is acting up a no is a no. I would not let her watching cartoon if she doesn’t behave or do something bad. I will however show her that I love her no matter what.