Not a yummy mummy

Babies things and feeling sexy as a woman don’t really go with each other don’t you think? I keep hearing about women talking about being “Yummy Mummy”  after having babies but it’s not really like that.

I had problems loving myself and considering myself sexy before having babies and as you can imagine things are a lot worse right now. I don’t think that sleepless nights, continuous feeding, sore boobs and baby vomit can really make a woman feel a “yummy mummy” don’t you think? 

Maybe if we all had nannies to help us 24 hours things will be a little bit different but if you are not a celebrity or movie star you will still have to deal with mummy things. 

Women like Posh Spice and Jennifer Lopez got so fast into shape and so toned because they looked after themselves at least 80% of the time. If a normal woman had the same help at hand – nanny, personal chef,  supervised diet and exercise things will be different. 

A couple of days i asked some of my fellow friends a question that is been bugging me for a while – what makes them feel sexy?

The opinions were different as you can imagine but one thing was said that didn’t surprise me. The ladies were talking about feeling good rather than feeling sexy. I totally agree. If i had problems feeling sexy before i became a mum now it just doesn’t happen…I tried buying sexy lingerie , telling myself i am sexy every morning but nothing works. My image of myself is just squashed. I have moments when i feel good about myself although most of the time i don’t…

I don’t feel like a sexy woman when i look in the mirror…i feel like a mum on which you can still see some baby sick on the shoulder, i feel like an old lady because make up barely touch my face in the last couple of years.

Some of my friends said that a new haircut or hair free legs can make them feel good and sexy but…with me is not the same.

One of my friend said that proper compliments from her husband will make them feel sexy. Again with me is not the same….My poor husband…no matter what he says and in how many ways he will say it…to me it sounds like he is joking or not telling the truth. It is probably because i don’t love myself enough…I don’t think i ever loved myself. I barely like myself most of the times. 

Before i met my husband i never walked naked in front of a man or let them touch my bum. Before i met my husband i was less self confident that i am now so you can imagine… 

My sexy lingerie still sits in my wardrobe..untouched, unused and with the tags on. I am afraid that if i put them on i will feel even less confident seeing my bumps from cellulite and the stretch marks.

I will probably feel better in something that covers my whole body when I go to bed – a onesie is just perfect to me but hubby will probably hate it!

Maybe in years to come when i will lose the extra weight and my girls will be older my image about myself and my self confidence will grow but for now i will be happy if some days i feel good about myself although i love to be one of those women who feel good in their skin no matter their size.

If you are a mum and you manage to find a way to feel good and sexy about yourself i would love to hear from you with tips and advice. At almost 33 i feel like i am 70…

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  • Sim @ Sims Life

    I am afraid I have no tips at all as I will always suffer with very low self confidence in the body area – even though I have lost 2 stone this year. Walk with your head held high and walk into a room like you own it with a big smile on your face. Besides you are gorgeous… show off that sparkling smile and work it 😛 x

  • Liz Burton

    Personally, I think my snow leopard onesie is AMAZINGLY sexy. I’m not joking either!

    I’m not one for prancing about in sussies and g-strings, if you’re not comfortable how the hell can you feel attractive? Well that’s my view. x

    Sims advice is spot on

  • cakesphotoslife

    Beauty is within and you are beautiful inside and out, your hubby loves you bumps and all after all he helped to make them by having children with you xxx

  • pinkoddy

    I don’t think these celebs feel particularly yummy either – can you imagine all that awful pressure to get back in shape. My husband always genuinely compliments me – which doesn’t make me feel good when I know I look like poo! A good haircut usually does it for me – hmm when did I last get me one of those?

  • Mum of One

    I do now how you feel. After a night of virtually no sleep I started the day with vomit in my hair and found poo stains on the boys chair. Pretty hard to feel attractive in this house. ((((Hugs))))

  • Thinly Spread

    My daughter was performing at the theatre this week and she had to wear make up which aged her from 13 to 40. I’m 45, I said to her ‘You are lucky because you can wipe your wrinkles off’ she said to me ‘But Mummy, your wrinkles are beautiful because they are where you laugh’. I’ve had 4 children and I am nearer to 50 than 40, our bodies have made people Otilia and that is miraculous. The marks left on our bodies are marks of triumph, we are sexier than any woman yet to give birth. Stand proud my lovely.

  • Helen Neale (KiddyCharts)

    Oh Thinly Spread – you are amazing, such wise words! I agree, and you may feel that your husband doesn’t mean it my lovely, but I am sure he isn’t joking. You have made two very special people for him, and for that alone you are amazing. Don’t forget that. Sexiness is often all in the mind. If you feel that you are sexy you will be, so its just a matter of finding that little switch again sweeetie. xx

  • Alison

    You feel tired, you feel worn out but it will pass. As they grow the little moments where you look at the kids and think I made them will boost your confidence and you will feel amazing again.

  • Mammasaurus

    AH I think I may have to print out what Thinly Spread wrote and read that each morning to help me too. You husband does mean it my dear, it’s just that when you feel bad about yourself the little voice in your head tells you that he can’t mean it – even when he does xx

  • Carolin @ Mummy Alarm

    Chris is right, you have created something magical and your body is proof of that. All lumps and bumps remind you that you have carried and nurtured to beautiful little girls and I think we should remind us of that more often.

  • Penny Carr

    I honestly have no idea what the answer to this one is. After two children it takes a ridiculous amount of alcohol to make me feel sexy, and by then I’m so shattered after sleepless nights and looking after two children that I’m more likely to fall asleep than anything else!

  • Actually Mummy...

    Oh Otilia, right now you’re feeling low, and you WILL feel better at some point. I remember completely losing myself to the kids once I’d had 2 of them, but now that they’re a bit older I have a bit more time to be realistic about myself.
    I never wear my nice underwear because it’s not comfortable. But I think what someone else up there said, feeling good is a fabulous start. Don’t pressure yourself by any kind of feeling that you should feel sexy, just treat yourself well enough that you can start to feel good. That’s all that matters x

    • otilia stocks

      i still have tags on most of the nice underwear unfortunately.some of them fit me some don’t…i hope that at some point i will get to wear them so that i can make my hubby happy x
      i will try and listen to your advice and be nice to myself if i can…thanks you x

  • Emma

    That Thinly Spread is a wise woman! I am hoping that in a few years when I get more sleep and a bit more time to myself, I might find some confidence again. xx

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