Mummy, when am I going to die?

As you can imagine i barely stopped myself from crying when i heard my daughter saying that.

How can a 4 and half year old ask such a thing?

To tell you the truth she’s been asking questions about death and people dying for a while now and every time someway or another i managed to get out of explaining her exactly what death is.

But this time around she didn’t stop…she asked over and over again…

And while she was asking this question she came and sat in my arms so i had no escape!

So this is how our conversation went:

Mummy: Kara why are you asking such a thing sweetheart!

Kara: Mummy, i just want to know that is all…you know daddy’s mummy and daddy died…so….just tell me…

Mummy: But sweetheart nobody knows when someone dies. People die because they are really old or because they get really really ill. You are 4 and a half years old and there is a long time to go until you get old…

Kara: So…mummy…do i die after i grow up and have kids and get married?

Mummy(trying to change the course of the conversation): Do you want to get married Kara?

Kara: But mummy…hm…who am i going to marry? Can i not have kids if i don’t get married?

Mummy: Yes of course you can.

Kara: But how mummy? How?

Mummy: Well when you going to grow up and be about 20 something years old you might meet a boy and if you fall in love then you might decide that you want to get married and have kids.

Kara: But mummy…you know i can’t get married with a boy…i need to marry a prince!

Mummy: Well…you might decide that the boy you fall in love with is your prince..

Kara: So mummy…then first i am going to grow up, get married,have kids and then my kids will grow up and have kids and then i will die? But mummy…you will die first isn’t it? If you do i am really going to miss you!

Mummy: Sweetheart mummy loves you loads and loads and i will be with you forever. Nobody knows when somebody dies but while i am here i am going to take care of you and love you more and more.

Then we had cuddles. Lots of cuddles and although i felt that she wanted to ask more questions i said to her that we should probably watch some cartoon together to which she said:

“Ok mummy. I love you mummy!”

“I love you too sweetheart!”

Aw…my heart melts every time she tells me she loves me!

That was quite a conversation that i didn’t think i will have with my daughter as such a young age…How did i do?

Did you discuss with your kids about death?

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8 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    September 24, 2013 / 9:53 am

    Had a very similar month of questioning with my daughter. Several nights of her not sleeping because she was sad about dying. Then she stopped asking. I bought a book called Beginnings and Endings (and lifetimes in between) and I think that helped. X The40yearold

  2. September 25, 2013 / 6:47 am

    Otilia, si a mea intreaba de moarte si nu a facut inca 4 ani. Cred ca e virsta. Noi am vorbit despre Isus, ca o iubeste, cum o iubesc mami si tati si ca daca cumva Dumnezeu va decide s-o ia cind e inca mica, Isus o sa aiba grija de ea in cer. Si mie mi se rupe inima cind ma intreaba dar incerc sa nu fac mare caz, asa cum ai facut si tu si sa vorbesc cit mai normal despre subiect.
    Te-ai descurcat minunat!xx

    • September 25, 2013 / 5:53 pm

      Multumesc Oana. Sincer nu am vrut sa iau calea religiei pentru ca sotul meu e ateist si vrea ca fetele sa isi aleaga ele singure…desi ma gandesc ca as fi derutat-o si mai mult daca as fi vorbit de Isus si Dumnezeu 🙁

  3. September 25, 2013 / 10:31 pm

    They all go through it. Mine haven’t yet asked about their own deaths, but are pre-occupied with their grandparents and occasionally us. My eldest at 11 never went through that phase (I think he’s far too practical), but my 9 year old and 6 year old are getting it at about the same time.

  4. October 4, 2013 / 4:19 am

    OMG! What a conversation. It made me laugh though, at the “prince” part 🙂
    I wanted to tell you, when we met, that she was talking a lot about people dying in our pretend games. Not sure where she got it from. You handled it very well! Kisses.

    • October 18, 2013 / 7:37 pm

      i know. Funny enough she is not talking about it anymore so whatever i said it worked 🙂

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