There are moments when my heart is pounding and I simply don’t know what to do next.
It might be anxiety.
It might be just the fact that I simply don’t know which way to go….
Why is adulthood so hard?
When did I become a parent and had to start taking decisions for others?
Is all ok when I am well…I look after my girls, entertain them and we simply have fun.
But when I am not..in moments like this…I simply feel that I can’t breath…How can I look after to little souls when I can’t look after me?
Earlier today when my girls were happily playing together I sat and I cried…feeling helpless and in pain…why this happens when all was well is the voice I hear continuously in my head?
My eldest came over and hug me and softly said: “Mummy…when you cry I feel like crying too…”. I hugged her and apologise.
What kind of mother am I ? I need to protect my girls and look after them and instead I sat there and cried….
I need to be brave in the face of life…but where do I find the strength now?
We all make sacrifices in life but what do you do when you feel the sacrifices are for nothing?
What do you do when you do when you don’t know what to do?
Do you ever feel like closing your eyes and waiting for all your sorrows , fears and problems go?
I feel like it right now…but this is not acting like an adult is it?
So what do I do?