Lately…
Lately…I’ve been speaking a lot with myself…
It’s cold outside and we spend more time inside rather than outside.
We spend more time cuddling , playing , chatting , baking and having fun altogether. I love spending time with my girls although sometimes they make me feel so exhausted…
I had more time to reflect/I allowed myself to reflect at my life now and wonder if this is where I am supposed to be at the moment.
I am not talking as much of a place to be as such. I am talking about my life – the place I am supposed to be in my life. Some days I feel like my journey through life until now has been pointless and that unlike some of my other friends the same age with me I don’t have an established career. I used to work in HR and then I moved over to Supply Chain and now I am a blogger and I am learning more and more about social media and the online world as such.
I spend my days fully parenting and my evenings in front of the computer trying to get better/evolve although even in blogging there are so many other fellow bloggers that started at the same time with me and they achieved a LOT more than me.
Did I imagine myself like this when I was in my youth?
As an unachieved middle? age woman?
NO? Or maybe I did?
I always knew I wanted to be a mum and that before being anything else. So I guess in a way I influenced my life.
As a Libra I am always in two minds, I am always doubting and overthinking my moves and steps I take in life. God knows I made lots of mistakes in my life from misjudging people to misjudging situations…Plus I always belittle myself and what I do so no wonder I sometimes feel so down.
Why can I not just take the good out of my life?
I guess that is because I am a human being and I want to be better but the circumstances and life don’t allow me to do so unfortunately.
So for now…I will be here. A full time mum and nothing else.
I leave you with this song that happened to start on VH1 just I am finalising my post…
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6 Comments
Alice Hassall
I talk a lot to myself in general sweety. I never saw myself as a parent growing up but then I didn’t have many years of growing up until I became a parent, so what did I really know?!… That song makes me cry every time!
Otilia
YUP! It makes me cry too…Love you Alice!
Annie @ Simple Wanderlust
Ah lovely, I feel like that a lot when it comes to blogging, comparing ourselves is so self destructive and yet so easy to do!
You are a lovely person and I hope you keep on enjoying snuggles indoors and focusing on all the postivies x
Otilia
Aw..thank you Annie.I know it is…its just that sometimes I just can’t help myself. Is very hard for me to end things and start again…
Donna@MummyCentral
I did the career thing – but never felt fulfilled by it. Facing up to the possibility of not being able to have kids made me realise what’s truly important. And I thank my lucky stars I had my boys in the end. You’ve got so much going for you. Don’t let that little voice in your head put you down.
Cass@frugalfamily
I’m not very career driven to be honest – I have a good albeit part time job and I’m about as high up the ladder as I really want to go. I am much more fulfilled by my home life and I think people tend to forget just how hard it is to raise children. You’re doing a great job as a mum and to me, that’s harder and more important than being a high flyer x x