Lately…I’ve been speaking a lot with myself…
It’s cold outside and we spend more time inside rather than outside.
We spend more time cuddling , playing , chatting , baking and having fun altogether. I love spending time with my girls although sometimes they make me feel so exhausted…
I had more time to reflect/I allowed myself to reflect at my life now and wonder if this is where I am supposed to be at the moment.
I am not talking as much of a place to be as such. I am talking about my life – the place I am supposed to be in my life. Some days I feel like my journey through life until now has been pointless and that unlike some of my other friends the same age with me I don’t have an established career. I used to work in HR and then I moved over to Supply Chain and now I am a blogger and I am learning more and more about social media and the online world as such.
I spend my days fully parenting and my evenings in front of the computer trying to get better/evolve although even in blogging there are so many other fellow bloggers that started at the same time with me and they achieved a LOT more than me.
Did I imagine myself like this when I was in my youth?
As an unachieved middle? age woman?
NO? Or maybe I did?
I always knew I wanted to be a mum and that before being anything else. So I guess in a way I influenced my life.
As a Libra I am always in two minds, I am always doubting and overthinking my moves and steps I take in life. God knows I made lots of mistakes in my life from misjudging people to misjudging situations…Plus I always belittle myself and what I do so no wonder I sometimes feel so down.
Why can I not just take the good out of my life?
I guess that is because I am a human being and I want to be better but the circumstances and life don’t allow me to do so unfortunately.
So for now…I will be here. A full time mum and nothing else.
I leave you with this song that happened to start on VH1 just I am finalising my post…