Emotional
This is how I felt today when I walked again where I use to walk so often with you.
I felt emotional and powerless. The last time I came to visit you was over 6 years ago.
I know I know…you probably never imagined that I will be the one to do such a thing. There are no excuses really…I just wanted to protect myself somehow…
I thought that maybe if I didn’t come to see that you are not really there anymore…you will still be alive in my thoughts. And you are. I always think of you…and recently I started to tell my girls more about you. About you and him…the people that I loved so dearly…the people that I will miss FOREVER.
The place where we played, the place where we smiled and chilled together is not there anymore either…That gate I used to run out to play with my friends, that bench and table where we used to sit and chat and eat during the hot summers, that little room with a “soba” where you and him used to tell me stories and listen to traditional music to that very old radio…
I often wonder where all those little bits and things that you used to care and treasure so dearly are now…I often think I should ask her…but I don’t…
I often wonder how it would’ve been if you were still here…I wish you were so you could meet my girls…I wish you could see me as a mum and give me advice or even tell me off…
There are seven years since you passed and I still mourn your loss…
*****
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12 Comments
Liz Burton
Oh love, I’m so sorry, but what special memories you have. Hold on to them. x
Mary Keynko
Oh lovely, what beautiful words, I completely understand how you feel!
Mammasaurus
Oh Otilia, greif and the emotions are so strong and come in waves over time, after a while it changes slightly but never really leaves you x
susanna
Aren’t we lucky to have memories x
Sonya Cisco
Ah a sad read but the love leaps off the page, such treasured memories. Xx
Anya from Older Single Mum and The Healer
I’m so sorry Otilia that you’re suffering. The love obviously lives on – hang on to that and be enveloped in it xxx
Penny Carr
Oh Otilia – grief is such a hard thing to deal with and just when you think you’ve got it mastered it changes form and you’re a blubbering wreck again. Hugs x
Pinkoddy
Big squishy hugs. I am glad you have such beautiful memories xx
becky
ah love keep talking through your memories with your girls, keeps the love alive
Cass@frugalfamily
I completely get this Otilia x x x
Aly
Much love to you Otilia
Lulastic
This makes me ache. Love to you x