Taking care of my “garden”

Even before we got married Adrian and I decided that we will move to Romania before having kids. We said that we will only live in London for a couple of years. It didn’t happen. We just didn’t manage to save enough money to move to Romania. And we enjoyed our free life and without worries in London too so we didn’t rush.

HAVING BABIES

But in 2008, two years after we got married – Adrian was hitting 40’s the year after so we decided that it was time to start trying for a baby.

I got pregnant very fast. Faster that I thought. And then while I was pregnant we start thinking about buying a house in London.

I know a bit of a heart change there. But unfortunately (or maybe just faith) the market crashed soon after and as we didn’t have a lot of money saved it just became impossible for us to fulfil our wish.

So…we went back to the decision to move to Romania. The next couple of years saw us renovating the side of the house that my parents gave us. We got to a certain stage but then the money were less and less so we stopped.

But that was not the only reason. We wanted to give Kara a sibling but this time getting pregnant was not as easy as before. Somewhere around then we decided that will stay in London for a little bit longer or just until I will get pregnant again.

FAMILY OF FOUR

Getting pregnant finally happened last year and in December I gave birth to our second daughter Anastasia. This is why as discussed my daughters and I will move to Romania in May. My husband and father of my daughters will stay in London and will visit us every 6 weeks or so….

We are hoping that like this we will be able to save a little bit more money to finish renovating and building our house in Romania and maybe save up for a house deposit in UK ( but this is not a requirement if we adapt to our life in Romania).

In a couple of years hopefully my husband will be able to join us.

However, our decision has been judged and analysed by our immediate family, our friends and even strangers more than we done it ourselves.

Why?

I guess because is better to look in somebody else “garden” and judge rather than take care of their own “garden”. People do not only look worried they express their worries as well.

I have been asked questions like:

“Is everything ok between the two of you?”
“What if he’s going to cheat you?”
“What if he will fall in love of somebody else?”
“You’re not scared of what the distance can affect your relationship?”
“Do you ally think it’s a good idea?”
“Don’t come home are you crazy? Here everybody wants to leave!”
“And if he moves there too can he find a job?”
“Do you really think that he can adapt in Romania?”
“Don’t you think that Kara will miss her daddy too much?”
“How are you going to cope on our own?”
“Don’t you think it will be too hard for Kara to adapt?”
etc
etc
etc
……

MY THOUGHTS

First of all my friends , your questions and worries will not stop us from doing what we planned to do.

Second of all our move might not be forever. Changes are hard enough without people seeding bad stuff in ones mind. In this day and age people don’t always spend their whole life in one place.

People move from country to country more often these days and I just don’t see anything wrong with that. I think it’s fantastic that we can now travel everywhere around the world.

We are a bilingual family so it should be expected for us to be living in both countries don’t you think?

And we know it will be hard. We know that many tears will be shared. We know that we will miss each other madly.

But…at this point in our life we know that probably this is the only thing we can do to assure that our daughters will have a nice future.

My daughters have only one set of grandparents – my parents – and we really want them to grow to know and love them. I want my daughters to grow up knowing that family is important.

I don’t want them to spend all their childhood with strangers taking care of them.

If we stay in London this is what will happen. I will have to go back to work soon and than my kids will need to go to nursery (the youngest) and to school, breakfast club and afternoon club (my eldest).

I want to have more time for my kids and not live in a renting accommodation for the rest of my life.

In Romania we have a place to live. It’s nothing fancy or very big but it’s ours.

In Romania we have family and friends. And when daddy will move there we all be together.

We don’t want to be rich. We just want to be there for our daughters and make their life a happy one.

It might be Romania, it might be England but without trying we have no idea how it will be…

So keep your fingers crossed for us. Don’t worry this blog will keep going. It might be from London..or it might be from Medgidia (my home town)….but I will always be the “Romanian Mum”.

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